After you have split up with someone, it can be difficult to know how, or if you should communicate with them afterward. Whether you have the idea of getting back together in mind or not, you want any interactions with your ex to be positive. For some guidelines on starting and maintaining good communication with your ex, read on:
Give It Some Time
Breakups are very emotional, and everyone will react to these emotions differently. It is a good idea to have limited or no contact in the first few weeks following the breakup. This gives you and your ex time to absorb and reflect on what has happened and to deal with any anger or other highly charged emotions you or they may have.
Reconsider Reaching Out
Even with someone who treated you badly, it is natural to miss someone you have spent so much time with. This is the part where you consider if continued communication is a good idea or not. If your ex was abusive in any way, cheated on you, or was generally difficult to deal with, it may be for the best that you are no longer together and no longer in contact. Unless they reach out to you, it may be for the better to have this type of person out of your life for the time being.
Keep Your Cool
If you do decide to initiate contact with your ex, it is best to keep it simple. You do not want your first conversations with them to be highly emotional or desperate. Instead, try using across the bow text messages. These messages are simple, friendly, and thoughtful. As an example: If you heard that they got a promotion at work, text them and say, “Hey, I saw you finally got that promotion. Congratulations! You deserve it. Hope you are doing well.” You could also let them know if you hear about or see something you know they will be interested in. These types of communication let them know that you are doing okay on your own, but that you are thinking about them, too.
Remember that no matter how you communicate, it may not mean that they will want to get back together or respond positively to you. Accept the realities of what happens and move forward knowing that you did your best.